On the recommendation of many people, I got a Furminator! Well, sort of.
In a fit of desperation-- I need a cat brush NOW!-- I walked into Petco. And walked out of the store 52 dollars lighter. What? Yup. They were behind the counter, which took a while for me to figure out, and by the time I made it to the front of the line and explained what I wanted, when I glanced down at the total it wasn't shocking enough to make me stop everything there. I know-- it should have been. But don't worry! I asked about their return policy-- basically you can return anything, even opened, for 30 days. Even so, by the time I got to the subway I was basically hyperventilating over my $50 brush. I calmed myself by promising I would return it, but not before trying it out.
SO I tried it out! And really it just looks like a regular metal brush but with more, and tinier teeth. Whatever. It works really well. The cats don't love it, but they don't love being brushed in general. Yes, brushing them is a pain. And you still have to vacuum and clean up hair. (Though it is supposed to cut down on shedding. We'll see.) But at least with this brush, you get so much hair in a few swipes, dealing with the frustration of brushing is more gratifying. More bang for your buck.
But not enough to warrant 50.
I was very proud of myself for actually returning the darn thing. And now SO proud of myself for ordering another from EntirelyPets.com. And after reading a review on Apartment Therapy's Re-Nest, I got a Pet Hair Magnet for the couches. (I know it sounds ridiculous, but its supposed to work. Again, we'll see.) Total: Just shy of 30 bucks. That included shipping.
They'll be here in 4 to 6 days. yay.